Wednesday, May 27, 2015

My House vs. Cindy Crawford's House.

Cindy Crawford bought a ranch house in Malibu, gave it a bit of a makeover, and it's now on the market for $15,450,000. 

I bought a traditional house in the quaint and artsy seaside town of Ocean Springs, Mississippi, it doesn't even need a makeover, and it's now on the market for $15 million less than Cindy Crawford's!

My House

Cindy's House









My House

Cindy’s House

Winner

$125 per square foot!
$2,861.11 per square foot
My house!
5 bedrooms
4 bedrooms
My house!
4 bathrooms
6 bathrooms
You got me there, Cindy.
Near the Gulf of Mexico
Near the Pacific Ocean
My house!
2 acres
1.5 acres
My house!
Regular visits from the rare and endangered Mississippi Sandhill Crane
No Mississippi cranes
My house!
Nice neighbors!
Sean Penn
My house!
Butler’s pantry
No mention of butler’s pantry.
My house!
You may encounter the majestic American alligator.
You may encounter tiny dogs in overpriced handbags.
My house!
But it’s okay, just shoot it if it comes too close before animal control gets here.
People in Malibu don’t have guns to shoot the tiny dogs, and what’s worse, their owners don’t think the tiny dogs smell bad. They do.
Alligators

But what if you need to live in California, you ask? Don't worry, it's a totally manageable commute! With the $15,000,000 you save, you can buy 30,000 500-dollar plane tickets. 


Friday, May 22, 2015

Is the Best House Ever for sale?

I would never resort to cheap internet gimmicks to sell my house.

But what if I told you it came with unlimited baskets of kittens and a unicorn docking station?